Another Day, Another Day of Worry

Here we go again. Another day of worry about getting an apartment by the end of October. I have placed so many calls and sent so many emails, but NO ONE is calling me back. The one apartment I was hoping for has declined me. I’ll call them back today and see if anything can be done to approve me for an apartment as I am in a desperate need of one. My credit is shit but I pay my rent, power and cable all on time. Never had an issue there. MAYBE if I had a co-signer, it would change things. But I do not have anyone that could be a co-signer, no living family members. Would never ask friends to that for me. I worry every day I am going to be homeless, and I have said also that will not happen. I’d rather be dead than homeless. I am still pissed off at my landlord for not giving me enough notice. You’d think that 90 days would be enough time, but I don’t feel like is. As of now, today, I have 76 days until I have to move. Each day it is counting down. I guess one minor side effect of having to move and finding place is that I am up early every day to spend time with myself before I have to sign into work. I don’t look forward to that. But that is a different post. Also, it appears my weight is going down because of the stress. I find myself eating less, which is a good thing. That also helps with the Type 2 Diabetes. At least that is under control for the most part. I think I take too many medications. But, if they work, they work. So all-in-all it is a good thing. Not that it matters, isn’t no one going to date me anyway. But that also is another post.

I guess it is time to wrap this post up. But before I do, I was able to sell off one TV, Xbox and sound bar in an effort to downsize so I can fit myself and my junk into a new apartment. I am sorry worried about this. Sighhhhhhhhhh. Also, my fundraising appeal. If you want to help me offset my cost of new apartment shopping, let me know and I will tell how you can help me. My final purchase of boxes should be here today. Now, it’s more to apply and pay fees to apply that are nonrefundable even if they decline you, which I think is total BULLSHIT. If they decline you, then they should refund you.

EDIT 1: I have been calling places all day. I can’t get ahold of anyone. I don’t know what to do. My whole life is falling apartment. I’m thinking it is about time. It really is.

That’s all for now! Take Care


PS: You can scroll to the bottom of the page to subscribe to my blog. You’ll get a notice anytime I post something, often depressing and annoying stuff.

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Packed My First Box

First Box Packed

I packed my first box today. What a surreal feeling. Packing slowly but still not a fucking place to live yet. Makes me have a of different thoughts and also anger. Slowly but surely starting to get rid of things I no longer need or will no longer have room for. That’s it. That is all I got. I’m sure I will have more to say later. Moving after 14 years in this apartment and all its issues. I hope to have an apartment secured by the end of month. But it’s going to be tough. Things are not going as fast as I thought they would. Also a few things that are hindering me getting approved for a decent apartment. Wish me luck. I’ll start calling places I called on Friday.

Take Care,

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Apartment shopping has me in a mood.

Well, I am still searching. NO ONE calls you back, no one responds to emails anything at all. I did get my first rejection though. That is something and it is a place I kind of really wanted to move. She did say that the apartment manager is out, and she may approve it when she returns to the office. She is out sick. So, there is still hope. Maybe little to known but there is still hope. They charge $85.00 just to be rejected and you don’t even get your money back and that’s not fair. You should not be able to keep my very hard-earned money. I am not made of gold; I am not like some of you who can take vacations every fucking month. Seems like some of you are always way. Yes, Facebook friends, I do pay attention. LOL. But you clearly are better than me. You probably made many better decisions than I clearly did. Probably grew up in a great family too. I won’t get into all that right now.

I am so sick of all this, and I have only been searching since 7/25/22, way to fuck up my birthday, landlord lady. I had much respect for her, but not anymore to spring this one me and literally the last fucking minute. Even though lease is up 10/31/22 it’s still not much time when places have long waiting lists. I have applied to two, I will apply to more as soon as people call me back. I am going to keep searching. I am now going to look of moving out of the Tampa area, maybe go to some surrounding county and city. I really hope something happens soon for me. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I won’t be homeless, I will be dead before I will ever be homeless again. Not going to fucking happen.

I guess some good news is that my boxes will be here soon. Not sure if that will even matter. But at least the people who clean up after will not have such a difficult job if everything is already packed and ready to be thrown in the trash or given to Goodwill.

If you want to help me offset my cost of new apartment shopping, feel free to Cash App at $Jackamus or @Jackamus for Venmo. Also, use PayPal and Apple Pay. I will not refuse any type of help. It’s expensive and I was caught off guard or I could have better prepared. No shame in my game. Why should it matter, I might not be long for this world. If you like to read about my depressing life, you can scroll all the way to the bottom and enter your email address to get the latest black cloud posts.

Thanks for reading,


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Still Looking for an Apartment, It’s NOT Easy

I am still looking for an apartment. The search if harder and more expensive than I thought it would be. I have a couple of prospects. I’ve put in a couple applications. Just one in a place I really want on Saturday. I filled out the app and paid my application fee of $85 dollar. Which I think is highway robbery. If I can get the apartment I want, it will be a 2 bedroom and it will right near where I used to live before, I moved to South Tampa the location is decent, and I can still get to all my doctors in South Tampa with you no issues. If you want to help me offset my cost of new apartment shopping, feel free to Cash App at $Jackamus or @Jackamus for Venmo. I will not refuse any type of help.

Nice Apartments, Not The One I am looking at.

I just placed an order for some boxes. Spent about $46.00 on 30 boxes. I have a $10 Lowes gift card and $50 gift card coming, so I will use that money to buy some more boxes. As I am sure I will need plenty to get moved. Then I have to figure out deposit and all that other jazz. 90 days is not enough time to move or plan, at least for me. Otherwise I would have made better financial and vacation decisions. I may be able to leave the termites early if the landlord person will let me out of my lease if I find something. It’s the least she could so for springing this move on me at nearly the last minute. I also still have movers to hire. Lord help me!

Next left on my Sunday agenda is to await a Amazon package for some IEM monitors (for listening to music, Keephifi KBEAR Ink in Ear Monitor) and off to Walmart to pick up my groceries. Had to spend less on good this week. Not a lot of money to go around. All the bills are paid at this point. So, I think that is a good thing, at least for now.

I am still getting up at 4am or 5am in the morning. I am losing a lot of sleep related to this move. Hopefully the stress will help me to lose tons of weight, then something might want me. Doubt it, but it’s a nice thought.

OK, that is it for now. I have no other updates on the move. Cross your fingers and pray, I need to find a place soon, within budget so I don’t have be homeless, and I won’t be homeless. As I said before, I’ll be dead before I am ever homeless.

Till next time,

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Look At Apartments Online

This will be a very brief post. I looked online at some apartments. So very expensive. There is no real reason for it, other than people going greedy as fuck. I see a few I like but it will also mean I will need to downsize. I am going to need to sell a lot of stuff. I am very depressed over it. I keep hoping that somehow by the grace and miracle of God that I get to stay here. I am hoping the 90 days will be enough time to get all this crap taken care of. I am not sleeping much because at night when I try to sleep my mind becomes overwhelmed and I get a feeling and since of impending doom. COVID has fucked everything up, BIG TIME. When COVID hit we had a dumb fat ass orange for president. I’m a good renter. I pay on time; I am never late. That should count for something. Greed is killing this planet and I really don’t want to be a part of it anymore. I’ll keep going into my mind and pretend I am in a different universe and my life is what I wanted most. It’s the perfect place but sadly my consciousness is stuck in this fucked up universe.

On one happy note, I went to see DC League of Super-Pets and enjoyed it. I’ll give it 4 out of 5 stars. I watched it in Dolby Cinema. That is my favorite format to watch movies in. IMAX is next then the normal digital format.

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