I Survived Surgery

Posted on August 22, 2023 by Jackamus
Battle Wounds

Well, it has been an interesting start to the month. I’ve had my gallbladder removed on 08/15/2023 and I am out on short term disability while I take time to recover. Sitting at the computer is limited. If I sit too long, then my stomach starts to hurt. My gallbladder was my first ever sugary. I looked like I was stabbed four times. Well, technically I was. I’ve included a picture of my battle wounds. They are healing nicely but I am still having some stomach discomfort and pain. Eating has returned to normal, which is fine. I am still not using the restroom like I want to. Sadly, a lot of the medication I take for type 2 diabetes causes constipation but the result I get from them is wonderful. I can handle the side effects. My A1C is down to 5.6, so the diabetes is well controlled. I have also gone from 240 pounds down to 172 pounds over the course of the last year or so.

I am thankful to my friend Shannen for being a great friend and taking me to surgery and bringing me home and making sure I was okay after the surgery. She even brought me a little gift the next day and stopped and CVS and got me some medication. I am very thankful for all her help. She came through for me when I really needed a friend. I’ve also included a picture of the Baby Grogu she gave me. It makes me feel better. That was super sweet of her. I just wish that some of my other friends whereas comforting. But it’s okay. It made me think about my friends and the impact they have on my life. Outside of a couple, I really have no friends and I am alone. I just wish others would have stepped up. Anyway, I am moving in from that. I am in a good place right now.

Can’t believe I have been in my apartment for a year now. October 7th, 2023 will have been one year. The apartment has been better than I expected and a lot of the places I need to go are remarkably close to me. However, I always make plans to go to places that are close as I hate to drive to places. I start on my second lease in a few weeks. They have raised the rent by $40.00 which honestly is not that bad. I just wish I were not forced to pay for amenities that I really don’t need or want. I don’t need trash pickup; I can take it down myself. I don’t need cable TV. I am okay paying for internet. Sadly, it is through Spectrum, and I really miss having my Frontier fiber. But I will say that Spectrum has not been bad at all. The service has been good. Since I work from home, I need reliable internet. I also am trying T-Mobile Home Internet and it works great so far. I can see the tower that I get the signal from. Overall, I like the service and will keep it for now as a backup. I do connect several devices to it, so it is using data.

My job as a Tech Support Analyst is going very well. Overall, my performance is Leading and that is an exceptionally good thing. We have some changes coming in September. We are going to be offline 4 days a week and online 1 day a week. 4 days a week we will be working on projects and taking deep dives into the data and trying to make our place of work a better place with better procedures and policies. I look forward to the exciting recent changes. Hopefully, nothing has changed since I have been off work since 08/15/2023.

Well, that was a lot. So, I guess for now, I am done. This was a long, long post and I have no posted since July. So, I wanted to catch up with the very few people who read my little blog on the big, big internet. Take care everyone!!

Bye, love ya, and thanks for being a friend,

Jackamus

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WOW! It’s the 1st of July! So much to say!

Posted on July 1, 2023 by Jackamus

WOW! Half of this year is over. Where the hell did the first half of the year go? This year is going by so fast. My head is spinning just thinking about it, or that could just be the Lyrica. HaHaHa. I’ve accomplished almost nothing, but a few good things have happened in the first part of the year. The first thing that was good was I didn’t have to take severance from my job because somehow, I don’t know how, but my interview for Tech Support Analyst somehow went well and I landed the role, and I am incredibly happy about that. Now to hope another layoff doesn’t hit my department which is all digital teams. But then came the layoffs a second time this year, our digital department was spared since we already got hit earlier in the year. But our voice team got hit badly and a lot my friends (well, co-worker friends) are getting laid off between now and the end of the year. Some will be able to stay since the voice team will still exist but will be much smaller. I’ll miss my friends in our voice department who decided to leave. They are all great people and I hate to see them go. I only wish them the best of luck in the future and landing a new role somewhere else where they will be happy. So, this is the first thing that happened this year and I am happy I got to stay and landed a new role.

The second thing that I think is good and it’s a small thing, nothing major. I got an offer of renewal for my lease in June. So, I signed it right away and will be staying in Pasco County for one more year. My new lease will end in October of 2024. And my rent only went up $40.00 so that was a blessing that it did not go up much. I am happy with where I live. It’s usually quiet and very peaceful. I can go for a walk around the complex to get some exercise. So, there is that. That is another good thing that happened to me this year.

Now let’s talk mental health and exercise. As some of you know I do suffer from depression and anxiety and always have. The last few weeks I have been very depressed, and I do mean very depressed. Last week I was in a very dark place. I did not want to be around people, I didn’t want to talk to people and that includes work folks. I just wanted to do my job and be left alone. My supervisor noticed something going and reached out to me but shut her down. I told her I was fine. But then I decided she needed to know what was going on. I hate having to explain that to her, but I had too, and my psychologist told me I did the right thing. So, we had a chat and I advised her of the basics. She was receptive and seemed to understand. We’ll see later how she treats me if it was a mistake. Because on Thursday the dark cloud in my mind started to go away and I felt better. I could see life again because, like I told my psychologist, I was in a bad/dark place. I told him I was looking at which pills would be the easiest to take and be done with it. But it was just thoughts and of course I didn’t take any action on it. So, for those that like me, I am still here to post memes and try to just have fun online. You should also. Now some will ask why did you post this? Well because it is part of my therapy so I can express it. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about things, so I express it all out in my blog. As many of you know I am not a writer, but I do attempt to make this readable for you. I am also incredibly happy that some people do read, and I love the comments of support you send me, those are important to me and make me feel like someone else is listening and that they do care. Connie and Cindy, your comments are so nice, and I love them, thank you both for the love and support. It means a lot to me.

Well, that’s it. I got another blog post done. Wonderful way to start the next half of the year. I hope the second half of the year goes well for me and everyone else. Both mentally and money wise. Thank you all for the support and love.

Take Care and Much love to all of you,

Jackamus!

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42

Posted on June 29, 2023 by Jackamus

I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing all right. I had a depression spell that lasted for a couple of weeks. I am now coming out of it. My mind is returning to normal. It’s hard to explain. When I get that depressed, my mind goes to my dark place, and I withdraw from people. I had to explain that to my supervisor today. She understood. We had a brief chat today about everything why I have withdrawn. But today I came out of a dark place to see the light. I’m glad to be on the other side of this damn depression. It sucks to be depressed and it sucks even more when it’s bad like it was the last couple of weeks.

Work has been tough, but I am doing better, I think. I didn’t use any FML today. I was at work all day and that is something for me to do on a Thursday. I was looking at my tracker and I do believe this is the first. It’s a small baby step.

I’ll have July 4th off so that will be nice. Only 4 days left next week. The goal is to make it the whole week without using FML. I really would like a full check for once. I think I will be able to do it. I try and make little goals like that to see if I can do it. Also, FML means Family Medical Leave Act. I use it when I can’t work and suffering from a burst of anxiety or depression.

Well, that is it for now. Not much to say. Not like a lot of people read the blog and for those that do, thank you. It means a lot to me that you read it and I like your comments as well, when you leave them. With that, I wish you happiness. I’ll write again soon.

Oh PS: Come to find out I have Gallbladder Stones and calcification around my spine. Iam going to the doctor in July for what we are going to do next and some other personal things I need to talk to him about. All I can say is it sucks getting old. My birthday is right around the order. I’ll be 48 soon and single as a dollar bill. Who would want this? I mean I have lost a lot of weight but still. Ya’ll takes care now, you hear.

Love,
Jackamus

Posted in Depression, General, Healthcare, Jack's Musings, Personal Feelings | Leave a comment

Still Proud of the Weight Loss

Posted on June 16, 2023 by Jackamus

If I got off my ass, I could lose more weight. But here again in the picture of me in July of 2022 and then a picture of me in December of 2022 showing how much weight I lost. Sighhhhhh.

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It’s Been a While Since We Last Chatted.

Posted on June 16, 2023 by Jackamus

Good morning, good afternoon, and good night to whoever decides to read my random babblings at twelve in the morning. Not a lot has been going on lately. I am thankful I am still employed. Even though the company I work for just set in motion a massive layoff. Thankfully…. This time I am not affected. I was let go back in February but was able to land a Tech Support Analyst role. I am still getting acclimated to the role. It’s a challenge and a lot of work. I hope to meet with my supervisor next week to go over some things to help further my work. I really want to succeed in my new role and right now I feel like a failure.

The apartment complex sent me an early lease renewal notice. I thought places only sent them out within 60 days. No, not here, they sent one last week and so I now have a place to live thought October of 2024. So, I feel stable there. Having a place to live is always important. I am sure you know what I mean. Look, I had one hell of a time last year getting moved after fourteen years in one place. Granted that last place has its issue. One was the termites. OMG, I hate those little fuckers. In the summer it was always so hot. The AC worked but I also put in window units to make the place cooler. My electric bill is through the roof. Here my highest bill was about $135.00, so that wasn’t bad compared to the $250 to $300 bill I would get.

Sigh. So that brings me to me. I know that I must try and work a full week without using FMLA. If I get stressed, annoyed, or upset then I must use FML to get away from the work. I hate doing it because it’s all UNPAID. This month alone I have used 28 hours of unpaid FML time. So, my check is going to be short. I also have about 64 hours left that I can use. I earn more back as they date from last year’s role off than I get those hours back. I must use FML to keep my sanity. Which most of the time, I have little sanity. I am odd, I admit it.

Now, let’s talk about weight. I am around 178 to 183. I have started to eat badly again, so I need to stop that. I also need to get off my lazy fat ass and lose more weight so I can attract a mate before it is too late for me. Being gay, overweight, and old are all three strikes. Oh well. We’ll see what the future holds. I’m going to try and go for walks again.

Well, that is it for now. I look forward to any comments you might have.

Later
Jackamus

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