What an odd feeling today. I was working, like I always do from home and I had flashes of a few pictures I had with my dad. I don’t remember any of them. I don’t recall him ever being in my life. I vaguely recall him being in my life shortly after he got out of prison. (He went to prison for raping my my half-sister.) He has to be the “good” father to have visitation rights with me. He had to have other adults present to be around me. He never paid my Mom child support. He was a failure as a father. So, I missed out on having a decent father to have fond memories of. I had a step father who was complete ass but my Mom really loved him, so in the end I am the one that suffered. Should have off’d myself when I was younger. But here we are.
I wondered if he is even a live. I tried looking for him online and couldn’t find much info. Of course if he wanted to find me, I am very easy to find online. Since he has never made an attempt, I can safely assume he doesn’t care. It sucks to be alone in this world. I could die in this apartment tomorrow and no one would know I am missing or dead for several days. I am sure the smell would of a decomposing body would stir the shops downstairs. At least I do not have any pets that would try and eat me. LOL! Of course I do want another dachshund. That’s it for today. That’s all I have in me to type.