May 2024 Life and Feelings Update

Hello, dear blog readers. In this post, I’d like to share a recent interaction with a friend that made a lasting impact. The pivotal moment wasn’t rooted in our conversation’s content or tone, but in the events that transpired during his visit to lend a hand. I had enlisted his help to set up a vertical monitor arrangement, only to discover that it caused neck discomfort. Regrettably, we had to dismantle his handiwork, which understandably led to his agitation. He maintained that he wasn’t upset, yet his body language seemed to tell a different story.

This episode prompted some introspection about our friendship. He’s often my go-to for tech support, generously offering his time either as a favor or for tech gadgets in return. I’m truly appreciative of his help. Yet, such instances highlight my tendency to be exacting, potentially imposing on others. I recognize that my particularities can be burdensome, often monopolizing the time and efforts of those around me.

I’m aware that my personality doesn’t resonate with everyone; it tends to draw either deep fondness or strong aversion, rarely anything in-between. Nevertheless, I cherish the connections I’ve forged, no matter how few they may be.

Moving on, I’m pleased to report that my job is secure (fingers crossed), my bills are up to date, and my credit card debt is under $2700. With a bit of discipline to curb impulsive spending, I’m hopeful to clear it by year’s end. I did indulge in a rare find on eBay recently – a coveted CD priced at $35, a bargain compared to the initial $49.95 asking price. The anticipation of its arrival is palpable.

To address the underlying theme of this post, I apologize if I come across as challenging. It’s not intentional. My personality seems to polarize, attracting either adoration or disapproval, with little room for neutrality. I’m committed to self-improvement, which might explain the scarcity of my friendships and the reluctance of others to spend time with me. There was someone who used to greet me with a “Good Morning” text regularly, but that ceased last November, with a Thanksgiving message being the last I received. I rarely initiate contact, believing that those who wish to communicate will reach out first. Perhaps it’s time I reconsider this stance. Nonetheless, I still hold the person in high regard, knowing that if she wished to reconnect, she would’ve done so as before. So, it’s all good. Apologies for the digression.

That’s all I have for today. Bye for now!

Thanks/Bye
Jackamus