Thu. Oct 21st, 2021

If only people understood what I really go through on a daily basis. Yes, sometimes it makes me an asshole. I freely admit that. I try to do better but I don’t always do. Thus is life a guess. Right now I am listening to and old and I do mean old recording done at my former church with Kent Henry. It was done in 1994 during a worship conference. It a nice thirty minutes of soaking in worship. Yes, some of you may know, others don’t because they do not read my blog. But I am a huge lover of worship music. Just one of my many quirks.

Well, I had to reach out to my psychologist for a couple weeks of work, Next I will need to reach out to my new doctor for my mental health and see if you she will sign off on additional time. Work is just crazy right now and it has stressed me out really badly. So, I had to take a little time to get my self back on the right patch. Yes, I summer from a couple mental illness issues. Like I said, I don’t mean to be an asshole but sometimes it just happens. My mouth engages and my brain shuts off. Then I have go back and fix what I fucked up. I sure hope my other DR will give more time off. I am scared and nervous to go back. I made a temp schedule change with someone and it has messed me up. I thought I could handle but I can’t. So now everything is so messed up. Such is life. Oh well.

Do you ever feel alone is this world? I sure do. After my Mom passed away in 2017, just before her 69th birthday I didn’t feel alone at all. I could talk to her about random stuff and she would just listen, I really don’t have that anymore. Sometimes I feel so alone I resort to talking to myself. I try not to answer myself, but sometimes I do. There are times I wish I was schizophrenic so I could have more people to talk to and not feel so alone. My only escape its going the movies to decompress. Then of course I have to come back home and the the depression and loneliness starts again. I also do feel alone going to the movies, because I always go alone. Thank goodness for the AMC A-List movie plan. I love the service it regularly.

I can not believe it is already noon as I am writing this. Plus I am all stopped up. I may need to go get some allergy medication to open up my nose. I hate allergies. What is else is going on? I would talk more about work but I can’t. I just talk to my Dr about it. Now I an listening to another recording from my old church. So, what else is going on. At this point not much. I need to write a email to my other DR, to see if she will give me more time off so I can feel better. I really need it. I am new to her so I don’t know what she will or won’t do. I will send her my records from my other DR, so she can see the form he filled. I also hope they don’t charge a lot. I think it is silly that they charge you to fill out paper work. Unlike some, I need the time to feel better. Others I know abuse the system. I use the system to feel better and then I good for a while. Wish me luck. I will close this for now. Thanks for reading and feel free to add comments, if you want. That’s even if anyone reads my most depressing blog. If you got this far, thank you.

Bye Bye for now

Leave a Reply