I’ll probably never share the true depth of the pain and depression I suffer from. Not even my own psychologist understands. I’ve started the search for a psychiatrist but some seem so off putting and too difficult to deal with. It’s not even worth the effort anymore. I’m truly exhausted and tired from the daily struggle of life. Some of it is my own doing, some of it is the mental abuse inflicted on my by others (Doug, Floyd, Howard, Karl). Some of it is the mental abuse that one suffers from when one is not a “premium gay”. One…