Posted inGeneral

Odd, Thinking About My Dad Today

What an odd feeling today. I was working, like I always do from home and I had flashes of a few pictures I had with my dad. I don't remember any of them. I don't recall him ever being in my life. I vaguely recall him being in my life shortly after he got out of prison. (He went to prison for raping my my half-sister.) He has to be the "good" father to have visitation rights with me. He had to have other adults present to be around me. He never paid my Mom child support. He was a…
Posted inGeneral Personal Feelings

Somewhat of a Wasted Weekend

Let me start out by saying you really do not know how truly alone in this world you are until your birthday comes along and goes right by. No phones call from anyone. No text messages from anyone. I take that back, I did get two text messages from co-workers telling me Happy Birthday and that made me feel a little better. But still there is nothing like getting two hundred Facebook messages out of five thousand "friends". They are literally people have never met and probably never will meet. A few out of that bunch were from co-workers of…
Posted inGeneral Personal Feelings

Life Doesn’t Hold the Same Meaning

Tomorrow I will have my 45th birthday. Alone, single and few "friends". Not to say I don't have friends but very, very few close friends. I will celebrate tomorrow alone. Wait... I won't celebrate. I will end up watching Buzzr TV all day and watching all the old game shows that I like. It's really not the same without my Mom. Hell, even if she were still here it would mean nothing. I see all these other people who's friends do things for them on birthday on Facebook. Some people have fun parties or go out, or whatever. I'll get…
Posted inPersonal Feelings

A Drive To Clear the Head

I just took a 52 minutes drive around town. Got my car washed and then just drove around. It was a nice drive, jamming to some music and just clearing my head. Which has been really jumbled lately. Since I can't talk to anyone about my thoughts the drive was the best next thing. My car seemed to enjoy it also.